Only To Serve You
by theladyisolde
Summary: Alternative ending to the scene in The Disir, with Merlin revealing his magic.


**Alternative version of the ****Disir Scene**

Arthur and Merlin, hearts racing, leave the presence of the Disir. They leave as carefully as they entered that dark and scared place. They leave lightly, though they each have a heavy burden. For Arthur, his whole kingdom rests on this choice. The pair set up camp near to the fateful cave where Mordred received his wound.

'And your opinion, Merlin, what do you think? I am your King, but I am asking you as a man. Man to man, what would you choose?'

Merlin, with heart bursting, looks to the fire. He wants to say so much, so much is burning in him to be said, so many years he has waited for this moment. He has a choice to reveal the true nature of his existence, or lie and lose that chance forever.

'I can not answer that question, Arthur.'

'Try,' Arthur replied, 'try to answer.'

'If I am to answer this question Arthur, you….. You must first learn something about me. Something that may shock, even sicken you. Arthur, I have magic.'

Merlin's words hung in the air like ice.

'You have magic…' Arthur stammered, shocked, 'you have magic'?, he recoils from Merlin for an instant. Not sure whether to leave or to stay.

'Yes, my lord, and I am a shamed I have kept this truth from you, knowing how you hated all magic. I know you have seen magic do some terrible and many people have died because of sorcery, but, please, Arthur, not all warlocks and witches are the same. I have used my magic only in your service, to protect you…'

'You have used your magic', Arthur broke in, 'around me'? Merlin, why did you not tell me?

'You would have banished me from Camelot, or worse. I used magic only to protect the once and future king, whom it is my burden to protect. I am Emrys, powerful warlock, and bound to your service.'

'Yes, Yes I would have done', Arthur responds. 'I do not know how to feel. I am no longer asking my manservant his opinion, but my manservant who is a sorcerer.'

'I always was so much more than the lacky, or the manservant. Far more powerful and clever than you can imagine, but my magic as at your command. I only used it in your service, and no more. I can not tell you to embrace the old ways, Arthur, that is your choice. If you can accept me as your man servant, then perhaps one day, Camelot can accept magic yet again. It is not all superstition as you might think. I would if I were in your place, accept the old ways, whether I was a warlock or a man. Everything we hold dear in Camelot, our freedom, is at stack. Camelot is for all, and that must one day include magic, otherwise this conflict will never cease.'

Arthur, clearly disturbed by Merlin's omission, looks into the fire. 'All this time, all this time, Merlin, you have been hiding from me the truth.'

'Yes, Arthur,' I have, Merlin said, wistfully.

'I must be alone to consider these matters,' Arthur replied.

Merlin's thoughts raced with what had he just done. How can things move forward, after so much deception? How can he possibly make Arthur understand the sacrifices he had made for him over the years. From this point, surely Arthur will reject Merlin and the old ways. To have been so bold, to risk everything, the blow would be crushing. Arthur may reject Merlin and accept Mordred, and then… would the fate of Camelot then be to fall? Was this the end of their friendship? Gaius has warned him, the time was not right for Camelot to accept magic, but this would be the only way for Arthur to become the great king he was capable of becoming.

Arthur was in turmoil, caught between his upbringing, the admiration and love he held for his father, and the fate of his kingdom if he held to those values, if he even believed the Disir were a real threat. Surely he made his own destiny, to believe in fate, to believe in the Gods, this triple headed goddess? And now his manservant, a magician, who used his powers to protect him. Somehow it insulted a part of Arthur's ego, the very thought of Merlin protecting his life with magic. It contradicted everything he believed about magic, everything his father had taught him. Could his father be wrong? And for what reasoning? Was there another secret which Merlin kept from him, was there more? He breathed the night air as he walked a little way from the camp where Merlin sat, equally as disturbed. How could he go on rejecting and outlawing magic knowing his manservant was one of them…? Was Merlin so seemingly good hearted, or was he evil, but to have risked everything, his position, his life in Camelot, to tell Arthur the truth. Too many contradictions, and his soul became torn between two conflicting sides, until his mind cleared, whatever decision he came to, it had to be his decision, as a King, not his father's decision, or even Merlin's. His own. With this new found clarity, he returned to the camp.

The old ways are not my own, Merlin, but if Camelot is too survive, then somehow we must encompass these ways, on the condition that Camelot stays free, free for all. You are the only example I have of a 'good' warlock, and I am trusting in you, that magic is not merely a force for evil.

Merlin's heart stopped beating for a moment, he had just heard words from this Kings mouth he had longed to hear.


End file.
